Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Here - in the waiting

So, I finally get up enough guts to do this thing, set up in my mind a diet plan of action, prepare myself by reading books about why I can't control my weight, and now I can't get a hold of the woman who has the diet plan.  I'm in this weird state of limbo - my brain constantly going back and forth between whether I should start now, watch my food and intake and lose some weight, or eat everything I can get my hands on because starting soon, I won't be able to.  I am hoping that I still weigh only the whopping 203 lbs, but I've also taken to avoiding the bathroom because the scale is in there, and it might just jump out at me and demand to tell me my weight - and it might be more than 203 lbs. 

I got myself into this - Why is getting out such a struggle? I don't feel sorry for myself, I just want to change the bad choices I've made. I'll get there, I know I'll be able to start soon, and that's when the real battle begins.  It's scary starting something you don't necessarily know you'll be successful doing.

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