Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Day 17: How much change?

Last night, I got angry.  Not even really angry about something super serious like someone-broke-into-my-house-and-stole-my-favourite-frypan, just angry because things weren't going my way.  Sadly, my first response was, I WANT TO EAT THAT COOKIE. I didn't eat the cookie, I walked away, but that very thought surprised me.  It almost caught me off guard.  I think it's the first time ever I've fully recognized the connection between an emotion and the desire to eat.  Usually whenever that flash of emotion hits, I just eat. Of course, usually after I stuff my face I feel as rotten as I did before I ate, only possibly worse.  

I guess that in my head I knew that, but I hadn't really made the connection before.  On top of that, I wish I had the answer to write here that I knew exactly what to do to stop this from happening, but I don't know yet. The only thing I think is that I have to turn my emotions to God for help, rather than to food for help.  I don't think that's easy, or that it's going to be easy.  Food is accepting, it's more of a risk to turn your emotion on God, he might tell me that it's ME that needs to change. It feels like that has been a consistent theme lately. 

To constant change.
190.2 lbs - down 9 inches

No comments:

Post a Comment

all the sins we see

He raped me. My friend, sweet and gentle, said it straight out like she was talking about the movie we'd seen not too long ago toget...