Stuck in a Time Delay also known as the Postal Service

I hate it when things don't go to plan.  I'm a planner - I like to write lists and carefully scratching one item off at a time gives me a grand sense of accomplishment. On the weekends, as we wake up, my husband knows to ask "what's the plan?" Sometimes I look at him, just slightly offended, as if to say, "What makes you think there's a plan?" But, in all honesty, I can't even play that, because I know that he knows, that deep down in the recesses of my mind - there's a plan. So, when things don't go to plan, one might find me literally pacing from kitchen to living room and back again trying to re-establish a plan.

The plan was to start my healthy eating regimen on Sunday.  Because it is time sensitive and there is a definite start and finish I am hoping to get going as soon as possible. It's hard to get excited about losing weight, motivated to lose weight and now, I feel like I am in a stall already.  I know that things take time, and that pacing isn't going to bring that UPS truck any faster, but I am beginning to wonder if tracking down the package and capturing it myself wouldn't be quicker. 

How about a little perspective? Ok. I weighed myself this morning. I am currently 200.02 lbs.  I have been slowly starting to add healthy eating habits in to my life, so maybe SOME of that is showing - but it is more likely that this weight loss is more a physiological thing rather than a reward for hard work. The evidence for this would be that yesterday I happened upon a rather happy surprise.  In the back of the freezer was a container of what just happens to be one of my most favourite flavors of ice cream, Oreo, and while watching Star Trek, I happily downed a bowl full.  So, the hard work hasn't started yet.  

However, I have been putting into practice a few things that I've learned lately about eating.

1) Eat Slowly: I never realized how fast I stuffed my face before I started to eat slowly.  I try to eat only one piece at a time, take a drink of water and talk instead of inhaling my food.  I find I get fuller faster. 


2) Eat what you like: Interesting concept.  Since dieting is often equated with eating boring, bland and boiled food, I have been trying to eat what I like to eat just in smaller quantities while listening to my body as to when I get full. 

3) Have a positive internal dialogue: I do not. I am critical of myself at every opportunity. Unfortunately the sage advice, "Who do you think is looking at you anyway?" has fallen on deaf ears, and I am certain that everyone who I come in contact with is as painfully aware as I am that I feel inferior because of the way that I look.  This one will take more work than eating slowly...


Now, these things are fairly simple and might be common place to my very skinny counterparts. But, so far these tips are like revelations to me. Change is a process. A very long process.  So...enough of this waiting. Let's get going! 

Sept. 02, 2011 - 200.02 lbs